Chris' Site

So Lalo just left and I’m a bit torn about how I feel over the whole situation and past couple weeks. On one hand, I enjoyed his time. He’s cute, funny, caring, etc. But on the other hand there were a lot of little things that really bothered me.

First, he’s too fucking obsessed with TikTok. We go out to dinner and he sits there scrolling through TikTok non-stop. Most of the day, scrolling through TikTok, At night, scrolling through TikTok. It gets frustrating because you cannot talk to him or enjoy time with him because he’s just looking at TikTok.

Second, He made a lot of frustrating comments about my age. Like yesterday we were driving home and we had two other people in the car he said “This grandpa music is putting me to sleep”. Or while on the boat I usually go to bed and watch a movie/show around 8:30pm. He would make a comment about “grandpa forcing me to go to bed so early”. I’m not forcing you to do anything. You can stay up if you want.

Third, Sexually he is so boring. He only wants to have sex in missionary, he takes FOREVER to cum. And he doesn’t do anything to help me finish (or even seems to care if I finish). He won’t give BJ’s, or do anything besides just missionary sex.

Fourth, he just doesn’t want to enjoy things sometimes. Last night we went out to this food truck place and they had a live band. We sat and ate dinner in a spot far away from the band. Before we left I said “let’s go watch the band for 5 minutes”. He said “no, they are too loud”. And he just wanted to sit there and scroll TikTok.

Fifth, he seems a bit homophobic… We were walking around old town San Juan and we passed this bar that looked gay. I looked it up and sure enough it was a gay bar. I said “let’s go have one drink” and his reply was “FuuuuuccckKKKKKK NO!” followed by some derogatory comment about “faggots”. Also any time we would see other gays out and about he would say “look at those faggots”.

It’s just frustrating. On paper he seems great, smart, funny, texts back quickly, etc etc. But now after spending 2 weeks together like this. Just not right fit at all.

Ugh..

We lowered the price to $525. A boat came on the market, one year newer for $520. We lowered the price to $519, the other boat lowered to 500. We went to 499. They went to 495.

I am getting more and more worried this damn boat will never sell. So when do I just embrace it and say “this is my life now”.

Phil and Andrew are leaving today. Lalo leaves in a 4 days. Then I’ll be back alone again.

TBH, I’m so ready for Phil and Andrew to leave. This time around there’s been some massive passive aggressive BS going on that is really pissing me off. The best example is that they will just randomly cook themselves food without saying anything. A simple, “hey, we’re going to make lunch are you interested in anything” would be super nice.

Or like we’ll be cooking dinner together and Phil will just get TWO plates out of the cabinet one for him and one for Andrew, like WTF. Also they have been drinking the SHIT out of my alcohol stash. They went through two BIG ASS Costco sized bottles of liquor. Phil also has this super annoying habit of talking down/condescendingly to you.

Next week I’m going to be PR and I’m so looking forward to just having a hotel, going to the gym, going to Starbucks, having a normal life again for a bit.

Also things with lalo, it’s very very clear this will never work out. He’s just too young. Like last night we went out and the whole night he just sat on his phone playing TikTok. Like interact with the group damnit!.

Anyway. I dunno. I’m ready to be home again. But what does that even mean any more.

So I’m on my 10th country. This year is going so much better than last year. But of course, still sad to be alone doing this whole adventure. If I weren’t single. I would def want to continue on. I think I wrote about Cory and kaz, I wish I could have kept up with them. I keep hearing/seeing these amazing places I want to go. There’s a Med Gay Sailing group that is very active and I really wish I could go there and be part of that. But I just can’t keep doing this alone.

My birthday was Meh this past year. Mark was here, we had a nice trip this time compared to last year as well. None of my family called except my mom and dad. Charles remembered this year which was shocking. I dunno. Another year past, another year of being single. Lalo was “busy” and didn’t text which was SUPER annoying.

I have two guest on board right now who are annoying AF. The guy talks too fucking much. The woman is a mess. She gets DRUNK AF, she makes these constant random “ugh”, “uhh”, etc other small noises. I have 5 more days of them. I Cannot wait for them to get the fuck off my boat.

Trying to figure out how to get from PR to Bahamas is starting to stress me out, TBH. Need crew to get the fuck there asap.

changed my broker agent for the boat. I sure hope this new guy can get it the fuck sold this year. But then what do I do after?

Last night, James randomly brought up Charles and I break up. Asking details about what happened. I still wish that Charles would kinda give me his perspective about what exactly happened there. But whatever.

What am I gonna do after this? Debating, do I try to stay in iowa, do I move back to CA, do I move to Thailand, Greece, Malta? I dunno.

I wish I could stay on the boat. Just with a husband….

We’re living in Nazi America and it’s terrifying. I sit here and watch the news, read the articles, etc etc. and I just cannot believe this is where America is.

ICE is shooting people, going door to door, randomly stopping people and asking “papers please”. This is not AMERICA.

Trump is tearing down the White House. Miller is destroying the foundation of America and yet 40% of America still supports this shit?

I’m just dumbfounded how we got to this point. How people can support what is happening. How people can look out the door and say “I’m happy with where things are going”.

I read this article the other day about Trump taking over Greenland. No one needs to fight back. All they have to do is dump US treasury bonds. If NATO dumps their bonds. It’s the end of America. If China dumps bonds, it’s the end of America. NATO drops US Treasury bonds, you know what happens? The dollar crashes, prices skyrocket, unemployment skyrockets. The Great Depression will look like a boom time compared to what would come. Trillions in wealth would be wiped out. My parents would be wiped out. I would be wiped out. No one would be able to afford anything.

And yet, people still fly “TRUMP” flags. People look at ICE shooting in MN and say “she deserved it”.

I am beyond frustrated. But what more can we do? People say “Write your senators”. What good does that do? Our senators are fucking TRUMP maniacs. IOWA is so trumped out that nothing will happen or help there. I feel helpless, watching as America is destroyed.

wait for November, vote. There won’t be an America left by November. Trump has made it CLEAR he’s going to do whatever he can to stop the elections come November.

In October of 2024, Kamala Harris said: “Donald Trump intends to use the United States military against American citizens who simply disagree with him. People he calls, quote, “the enemy from within.””

And it’s happening. ICE is his secret police force. Doing his bidding.

2025 has had it’s ups and downs for sure. It’s been a tough year but also some amazing stuff has happened.

I did the boat thing, I should be proud of that but I’m ready for it to be over.

I’m still single.. But I met Gerardo and I’m happy to have him in my life. I don’t know where things area headed with him.

I got to spend a summer in Iowa and it’s kinda re-upped my love of the state and my family home.

But things are still down and tough. I want this fucking boat to sell. I want to be back on land and have friends.

I’m still a bit annoyed that my friends are not coming to the boat in droves. That I am practically having to beg people to come.

Yeah. It’s been another year.