Chris' Site

I am just feeling like maybe I expect too fucking much out of people/the world. It’s getting frustrating AF. I want to go home. I just live a normal life. Find a husband. I dunno.

Things here in Antigua have been fine but also annoying AF. I just feel like I am constantly getting shafted out of life and experiences.

1) Phil, Andrew and I went to a spa for a massage. We all booked the same massage treatment. THEY were offered a shower before and after their massage. _I_ was not. The massage was $100USD.

2) After said massage we went up to the pool to spend the day there. It was a $90USD entry fee which included one drink, one main and (apparently) one bottle of water. So I paid the $90USD and then asked for a TOWEL. The woman gave me an eye roll and said “You didn’t bring one”. BITCH. I am paying $90 FUCKING USD for a day pass to your fucking pool. It should include a god damn towel… I was so annoyed I ate my lunch and then left. I def did not get to enjoy my $90USD. After I left, apparently they offered Andrew and Phil a bottle of water as part of the $90…. Which I did not get.

3) I wanted to be wild and crazy. I spent $30USD on a manicure and nail painting. It’s been less than 24hrs and half the nail polish is already gone.

4) I sent the organizer of the Salty Dawg rally a very detailed email about things that I thought could improve the experience for people. Including suggestions like “less drinking events”, “daily zoom calls with the fleet”, and feedback on the weather router (who EVERYONE agrees was terrible). I got back a very condescending email basically saying that what I was asking was “way too much” for the fees that we pay. WTF bitch you guys spent GOD KNOWS how much money on drinking and beer and other such events.

5) And this is the biggest fucking shaft so far of this trip…. I hired a guy who had been recommended to me by a committee member of the salty dawg rally. He came to my boat, looked over the project said it would take one day. I agreed. His guy showed up around 10am and left by 4:30 or 5pm. There was only EVER ONE PERSON on my boat at any time. YES two different people did work. But only ONE was here at any point. He charged me for 16 HOURS OF WORK. $2,100USD. I tried to talk to him about it and he was just a fucking bitch and said “prove it”. I emailed the committee member who suggested him and his reply was “you’re in their country we have to be nice to them”. FUCK THAT SHIT. This guy is fucking RIPPING ME OFF. The committee member also suggested I just drop it or the worker guy can report me to customs and “cause you an issue the you go to checkout”.

Just so fucking tired of this crap. I just want to go back home. To a country where I know how shit works, where people can and are held semi-accountable.

In other news, I’ve been having nearly daily dreams about Charles which is very annoying.

Lalo and I, i dunno what’s going on here… He says I love you, I say I love you. He’s great to chat with and tons of fun but I just don’t know. He’s 20 years younger than me… how can that possibly work… Ugh.

Mid-passage update. We’re about 4 days out of Bermuda and 4 days to Antigua. So basically the halfway point.

Things on this leg are going much better. Calm Flat seas, light winds. (Almost too light). Crew is in good spirits, so that’s good.

But honestly I still just want to sell this fucking boat. I’ve been kinda day dreaming about asking my parents if I can rent the house. I dunno if I’d be happy there either, but you never know. Maybe I’m ok being a little slower life then I had in the past now. Lalo and I can date, see here it takes us.

My crew last night was talking about their plans for leaving once we get there and it made me kinda sad. Once they leave I’m back all alone on this boat in a new country, with lots of new things to worry about or figure out. Plans to make, progress to make, adventures to make.

I still get urges to call or text Charles since the whole Don calls. Like WTF was he thinking would be my reaction to him calling me and telling me that this guy is still so madly in love with him. And then we haven’t even spoken, texted or anything since that call.. I’d really like to know what his mindset was to make him think that I would want to hear about that stuff.

These NYC boys on the boat are a little weird too IMHO. Like they will make themselves lunch and not say anything to the other two. I’m not expecting them to MAKE us lunch but at least say “hey, we’re making lunch” or something. Other odd things like that too where they just don’t really give courtesy to other people. Maybe it’s just an NYC thing. Who knows.

Let me tell you, after going through that. I never want to do it again. But we have 8 more days to go…

We left Hampton and the weather was amazing. There was this beautiful parade of boats, everyone leaving at once. Lots of radio chatter. It was fun.

The first 24 hours were perfect sailing. Calm seas, good winds, the stuff you dream of when you sail! we got through the Gulf Stream with no problems at all…

Then it all went to shit . The next 72 hours were terrible. HUGE waves, some of them crashing over the helm station. Strong winds mostly 25+ gusting to 30-35. At one point gusting above 40.

Squalls, rain storms, waves. It was just not fun. I think I slept an average 1-2 hours each night. I kept waking up and checking on the people who were at the helm.

The boat did good overall. We only broke a few small things.

Other boats did not fair so well. Broken booms, broken windows, etc etc.

Our weather router was telling us that it would die down and we’d have to motor for 4-5 days!!! So that was very frustrating. We were debating a detour to Bermuda… Then he said “You need to get 520 miles in 72 hours or you’ll get hit by another big front”

That sealed it for us. We went to Bermuda.

So we’re here in Bermuda. It’s been so nice to have land, somewhere to eat. I slept like a rock last night.

I can definitely say I do not ever want to do a passage like this again.

Been in Hampton the past week getting ready to leave for Antigua….

My parents came up to Baltimore and Dad helped me sail the boat south down to Hampton. IT was a fine trip but somehow the leaf spring on my truck broke. That was crazy.

Both my mom and dad clearly hate each other and it’s sad to see. They keep talking about selling then house which also upsets me, but what can I do about it?

Hampton is a weird little town. It’s so DEAD. There’s a fucking university here but there’s no PEOPLE anywhere. Like we go out to the Main Street area and it’s just dead. Friday night, Saturday night. Dead! Where is everyone?

I don’t want to go to Antigua. But again, what else am I gonna do? I keep hoping someone will want to buy the boat. But nothing.

Lalo has been saying “Love you” a lot lately… I also don’t know what to do with him. I love him too. But he’s just so young.

Life.

I’m still here in Baltimore, getting the boat ready to go for the Caribbean. I really do not want to go. I want this fucking boat to sell. I don’t want to end up farther away from home and not have friends come visit. Lalo says he will come spend a whole month with me. But we will see if that happens or not.

Charles and I haven’t talked or texted since the Don phone call. He hasn’t looked at my stories/posts since then either.

Things with Lalo… I mean he’s great, but can I date a 20 year old? He does everything I want in a relationship. He sends me these cute little videos, updates me about his day, asks how my day is. Has open and honest conversations with me. Ugh

Friends here in Baltimore are strange… You know one of the big reasons I came up here was because of Danny, Matt and Irina. I haven’t seen any of them basically since I got here… Matt was here at the dock this past weekend with Jae. They texted me at like 6pm and were like “hey we’re hanging out on the boat”. TBH if you’re my friend and you want me there, you would have texted earlier and said something. So frustrating.

Things with the Apartments are also driving me insane. Tenants are fucking idiots. I hate most of them.

Dixon passed away which is sad 🙁